Esther requested that her birthday not serve as an occasion for us to pretend that ewe were closer than we really were, since why should that random date, a date based on the most flawed and sentimental calendar, make us suddenly tell lies about how we really felt?
"Sweetie," I countered.
"See, like that," she said. "There's a lie right there. You think that a generic endearment will somehow show how you feel toward me, talk me out of how I actually feel. One word is going to do that, a word used for pets? How many people use that exact word to hide what they feel? It's like you're throwing up on me, actually. I feel like you just threw up on me." (Chapter 15)I never ceased to be astonished by the sheer disrespect Esther held towards her parents. I think this passage pretty well sums up Esther's justification for her horrible behavior though: she feels as though her parents have a lack of respect for her; enough that she truly believes Samuel is lying to her by expressing his affection for her. Obviously, her parents love her very dearly. She has brought them inches from death, but they try to remain with her for as long they possibly can, consistently trying to save what shred of love there may be left between them. I think the great oversight on Esther's part here is that it is possible for two certain individuals to love someone so wretched and who tries so desperately to garner a lashing response: those two of course are that child's parents.
This passage also shows one of the major flaws of Esther in that she merely uses people for their immediate value to her. She is able to disregard her parents because she is confident in the continuation of the services she takes from her parents. Recall that earlier she had no interest in playing with the children at the park; I think that she realized that those kids would provide no benefit to her, unlike the gangs she hangs out with who enable her to feel more powerful. Power is the number one thing I believe Esther is seeking, evident in her words she crafts to which no response can be made and in harming others. Where this desire comes from, I have a few ideas, but I have yet to come up with a definitive answer.
I think this analysis of Esther's personality is very astute. I agree that her disdain for her parents extends much farther than simply being a product of her teenage disposition. Your assertion that she only seeks power, and therefore is only concerned with the immediate value of those with whom she chooses to interact, makes sense when looking at her behaviors throughout the text. I am interested to see how her role develops in the second half of the book, and if she remains static in her character traits.
ReplyDeleteI can tell you have a really good grasp on Esther's personality. It's awful to see this sort of open hostility towards her parents because I'm not used to reading something so nasty
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